Someone Grab Me a Tissue...

 People have been asking me for months how I'm going to be when I send Payton off to Kindergarten.  Honestly my thoughts have been everywhere, but no where near where they actually were tonight.  Tonight I was washing Payton's hair in the bath and flashed back to giving her a bath in a plastic tub that sat in the sink.  I had to support and hold her head so gently, tonight I told her to keep her head down in the water so I could finish getting the shampoo out.  She got the giggles because I splashed water in her eyes, that's something that just a few months ago she would have cried and screamed wanting to be done. 
I was sitting on my bed combing her hair while Nic was getting dressed in Sunday clothes.  I explained to her what daddy was doing.  That dad was getting dressed up because he was going to be giving her a blessing.  I told her that we will do it at the beginning of every school year, but that she could have one at anytime. She said that made her feel special, then she buried her head into my chest and started to cry.  The words she uttered were, "I'm going to miss you!" At that moment it all hit me! My Peanut is going to Kindergarten.  This is the start of a major part of her life.  Those next 20 minutes are something I never want to forget.  I had such an amazing bond with Payton tonight.  I love this little girl so much! I don't know what I would do without her sweet special spirit.  Words cannot express what I felt tonight.  While Nic gave her a Father's Blessing he blessed her that she would make new friends, ones that she will be an example to.  But he didn't stop there.  He continued to say, "and good friends, ones that will be good examples to you." This is the point in her life where she will make life long friends. I can only hope and pray they will be good kids with high standards and values.  You may be thinking, -good nuts its only Kindergarten- but have you seen the world we live in?  I want Payton to be a friend to all, which I know she will, you'll never meet someone so sweet and tenderhearted.  But I also want her to be careful with her choice of close friends.   Being a stay at home mom, I know where she is and what she is doing all of the time.  I don't worry about her.  Tomorrow that ends.  Tomorrow the worry begins without end.
Don't get me wrong I am so excited for her and this new chapter in our lives.  I am also super excited that my mom will be down the hall from her.  She is going to the best elementary with so many wonderful people who know and love her.  After all she has been going to elementary since she was a baby.
After her blessing she requested that I tuck her in.  But before doing so she said her personal prayer.  Only now that I think back on it we never finished it.  She again began to cry which made me cry and we embraced each other until we could pull ourselves together.  I asked if she was scared and she said no that she is excited.  Why the tears were coming so heavy for her, I'm not sure. Why they were coming so heavy for me, because I think that she genuinely will miss me, that she knows how much I love her and that she loves that I am here for her.  Me being home is important to her.  I am so glad that I am able to stay home with my kids.  I am so grateful that Nic has a job that provides for our family, but most of all I am so grateful to have a worthy priesthood holder in our home.  There are few things better than that.